Mi sveglio ogni mattina pensando che questa sarà l’ennesima giornata sprecata. Magari è stata una giornata-no anche per quello che ha dato inizio a tutto questo casino, solo che per colpa sua chissà quanti altri momenti terribili avremo tutti.

Guardo fuori dalla finestra osservando il triste paesaggio sormontato da nuvoloni grigi: sono sempre le stesse noiosissime case, sempre le stesse noiosissime nuvole, gli stessi noiosissimi alberi che vedo da quando vivo qui. È tutto rimasto uguale, ma perché io invece sento che è cambiato tutto? Perché mi sento così diversa?

È tutto così terribilmente surreale.

I primi giorni pensavo fosse un sogno, aspettavo che finisse per tornare alla vita di sempre, con lo stress, la scuola, la corsa avanti e indietro tra i milioni di impegni che avevo ogni settimana, ma poi ho capito che non c’era nessun sogno e che la normalità me la potevo sognare, forse ancora per un bel po’.

In un verso di una canzone si dice “sai di essere stato in alto solo quando ti senti in basso” e solo ora capisco quanto sia vero. Prima davo per scontate cose che ora posso solo immaginare: andare a scuola, sull’autobus, uscire con gli amici, andare al centro commerciale, al cinema o al ristorante.

La mia vita è cambiata nel giro di poche ore e se avessi saputo che non avrei rivisto la normalità per così tanto tempo avrei abbracciato più a lungo e più forte i miei amici e i miei nonni, avrei sorriso di più alle persone che mi volevano vedere felice, avrei impiegato più tempo a percorrere la strada da casa alla sede, così da godermi ogni singolo attimo di quello che la mia vita mi offriva.

E sarebbe tutto più accettabile se solo potessimo sapere come e quando finirà questo incubo ad occhi aperti, quando potremo tornare a mostrare il nostro sorriso alle persone che ci sono più care senza nasconderci dietro la mascherina.

Vorrei concludere questo breve pensiero dicendo che non penso che “andrà tutto bene” come ci sentiamo dire ormai da praticamente cinquanta giorni, la cosa è ancora lunga e non finirà certo a breve, ma auguro comunque il meglio a tutti e cerchiamo di tenere duro. Torneremo a sorridere prima o poi, basta solo saper aspettare.

Flavia

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